A few days ago, I watched “A Star is Born”, Lady Gaga’s feature film debut, which has received widespread critical acclaim and earned eight Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture, Best Actress, and Best Actor.

The film is deeply moving and brings much-needed attention to the importance of mental health, as well as the complexities of living with alcoholism and addiction. However, while I found the characters and their stories both relatable and emotionally compelling, I also noticed certain ideas and behavioral patterns that are subtly reinforced throughout the film. At first glance, these may appear harmless or even romantic, but they deserve to be recognized and reflected upon with a more critical perspective.

(#SpoilerAlert) A celebrated musician (Jack, played by Bradley Cooper, who also directed the film) discovers a young woman with extraordinary talent (Ally, portrayed by Lady Gaga) and helps launch her career as a singer. As their relationship blossoms into love, a recurring pattern of behavior begins to unfold—one that ultimately shapes and distinguishes the decisions and actions of both characters throughout the film.

El comportamiento de Ally y Jack encaja en un patrón. Por un lado, se espera que las mujeres en un contexto de pareja asuman en este tipo de casos el rol de cuidadora, anteponiendo las necesidades del otro antes que las propias. Este comportamiento de abnegación puede desencadenar en la tolerancia, aceptación y normalización de episodios de violencia a nivel psicológico y hasta físico.

Ally and Jack’s behavior reflects a familiar pattern. On one hand, women in romantic relationships are often expected to take on the role of caregiver in situations like these, placing their partner’s needs above their own. This self-sacrificing behavior can lead to the tolerance, acceptance, and normalization of psychological—and even physical—forms of violence.

On the other hand, the behavioral pattern often associated with men lies in the difficulty of expressing their emotions, asking for help, and even accepting it when it is offered. Ally reaches out to Jack when he is at his lowest point, and he recognizes her unwavering support. He realizes that she is even willing to set aside her own dreams in order to help him break free from the vicious cycle he has fallen into.

However, Jack seems unable to accept seeing himself as someone living with alcoholism and drug addiction. This is not only because of the illness itself or the pain he is causing Ally, but also—and perhaps most importantly—because of the feeling that he needs help, that he is in a vulnerable situation he cannot overcome on his own. In this sense, Jack also becomes a victim of the deeply rooted beliefs that continue to define what it means to “be a man” for many people today: not to cry, not to show vulnerability, to avoid talking about one’s emotions, and, above all, never to ask for help when struggling emotionally.

While some people may clearly recognize that these gender roles and behavioral patterns are harmful, others continue to see them as the natural, expected, and even romantic way relationships should unfold. In our country, we continue to witness a deep and ongoing divide between those who resist rethinking traditional gender roles and those who understand that preserving these stereotypes is one of the reasons why we continue to face tragedies such as suicides like Jack’s, femicides, and all forms of violence against women.

May this remarkable film encourage us to reflect on ourselves—on what we do, what we choose not to do, what we allow, and what we refuse to accept. May it invite us to reflect on our own life stories and the experiences that have shaped us. Above all, may it remind us that asking for help is a sign of strength, that we can grow through our vulnerabilities, and that accepting ourselves during our most difficult moments is an essential part of healing.

#EveryoneForMentalHealth

Written by: Teddy Pérez Vásquez 

Edited by: Lucero Andaluz Llerena