The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on people’s mental health. According to a study conducted between June and August 2020 in 130 countries across the six regions of the World Health Organization (WHO), the pandemic has disrupted or halted essential mental health services in 93% of countries worldwide, while increasing the demand for mental health care.

In Peru, a study conducted by the Ministry of Health and the WHO in May 2020 found that 7 out of 10 people reported that their mental health had been affected by the pandemic and lockdown.

One of the factors with the greatest impact on our mental well-being is grief and the way the pandemic has reshaped it. Unfortunately, in this context we have had to adapt to new ways of saying goodbye to our loved ones, without the physical presence of family members or friends. This limits the support provided by our community networks during these extremely painful moments.

For this reason, we interviewed Lic. Rosa Zapata, a member of the Ministry of Health’s Directorate of Mental Health team, who answered our questions about grief processes during this difficult time.

• What can we do to cope with the death of loved ones during the pandemic? How can we say goodbye in this context?

For many families, the pandemic has meant saying goodbye to their loved ones in deeply painful ways. In some cases, the loss occurred at home, while in others, contact with them was lost after they were transferred to a healthcare facility.

At first, denial and guilt often appear as normal reactions in this context. However, it is important to recognize that this pandemic has taken the lives of millions of people worldwide: each of us may have done everything possible to save our loved ones, but we must acknowledge that their recovery is not always within our control and that we did everything we could, allowing us to objectively release ourselves from guilt. After that comes acceptance.

During these times, we may not be able to hold funerals or bury our loved ones according to our customs and rituals. In response, it is recommended to look for the most meaningful objects and memories of our loved one and create a space at home where we can honor them, respecting our different religious beliefs. We can write letters expressing how much we loved them, remember the happy moments we shared, and reflect on their teachings.

• How can I help someone who has recently lost a loved one?

It is important to stay in contact with them through phone calls or virtual means. We should not overwhelm them with questions, judge them, or overprotect them, so that we can help them activate their coping mechanisms and process grief appropriately. Most importantly, the person should feel that someone cares about them, that we are there for them, and that they can count on us whenever they need support.

• What should I pay attention to if I have a loved one who has recently lost someone?

At this time, it is important to strengthen family and friendship bonds by staying in constant communication. We should pay attention to signs such as a trembling voice, frequent silences, a very low voice, confused speech patterns, or if the person suddenly ends the conversation. These may be warning signs that they need emotional support.

• How should we address grief with children or adolescents at home?

If the person who passed away was someone very close and important to our children or adolescents, it is important to tell them, but in a private space and using simple, age-appropriate, and compassionate language. It is not recommended to hide the loss, as children are alert and highly observant: the pain can become much greater if we hide it because trust may be affected.

It is important that we work on accepting death as a natural process that is part of life. We should explain that, although the physical presence of our loved ones is no longer there, their essence lives on through our memories, their teachings, and the meaningful moments we shared.

De-mentes, let us remember that grief processes are different for each person and have different durations depending on the individual. We do not always react in the same way, and there is no single way to cope with the loss of someone. It will never be an easy process, especially in this context.

From our organization, we sincerely hope that these recommendations can help you cope with grief or support a loved one through it. Remember that we are here with you: if you feel that these strategies are not enough, it is important that you seek support from a mental health professional to talk about it. Through this link, you can find different free psychological support options provided by our partner organizations.

#EveryoneForMentalHealth

We thank the Ministry of Health’s Directorate of Mental Health for their collaboration on this article.